If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
