Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
