Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
