I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
