How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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