I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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