all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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