I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize