I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Be still, my beating vagina.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
