Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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