Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
