I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
