Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize