my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
