I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Randomize
