Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
