I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
