Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Randomize
