just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
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