I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
vagina is talking i cant
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
