hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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