Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
