I'm really into asian looking animals
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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