Where did you get a picture of my penis
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
