His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
