Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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