remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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