i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
