put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
