there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
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