Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize