Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
