Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
