haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
