there was a trapeze. enough said
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
you had me at cake vodka
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
