dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
