even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
and she was petting her beer can
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
