The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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