we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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