I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
