we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize