wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Randomize
