There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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