why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
