I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
