I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
