he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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