Is it normal to miss your booty call?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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