You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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