I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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