When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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