I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize