do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I came so hard my ears popped.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
