she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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