You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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