so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Mom said you looked used
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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