You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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