Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
