If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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